NAMEOLOGY Pt. 2: Better than NUMEROLOGY, ASTROLOGY, and MYSTICISM combined

NAMEOLOGY Pt. 2: Better than NUMEROLOGY, ASTROLOGY, and MYSTICISM combined


Hello my spiritual beings, and welcome to another episode of Nameology the horoscope for your name. My guru Vedanta Siddharta told me that the name held the truth about our nature That was right before he was arrested for trafficking methamphetamine. Now let’s begin. NAMASTE Nathan, the only sports you will ever watch are college football and hotdog eating. Eduardo, how did your parents know you were gay? Darren: when you were in high school, being a bully worked for you. But now the only person you have to bully is yourself Also your wife. Jordan: People are amazed when they find out you’re not a black man. Megan: You’re every woman. It’s all in you. De La: The possessive in Spanish. and much like your name, you’re possessive, in Spanish. Pierre: You think you’re better than me? Let me pause for a moment, the forces of the universe are very powerful today. Please allow me to eat some homemade kombucha before I continue. I prefer to eat the kombucha instead of drink it, because of the benefits. All right, I’m ready again. Cole: You’re an empty husk of masculinity. And yet, you’ve called yourself alpha four times in this life alone. Gloria: My kids better not start calling you mommy. Liberache: Your name mean freedom, and you’ve certainly achieved that. Dierdre: You were probably named by the half deaf grandmother that raised you but that’s good luck in some cultures. Denise: Quit starting drama. All right that’s all I can conjure today, I can feel the booch coming up inside of me. So I’ve got a date with my toilet. Which is just a bucket I keep under my seat with all my compost in it. Namaste. Oh my Yahweh.

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