Touretteshero World of the Zodiac Monthly Horoscope – Aquarius

Touretteshero World of the Zodiac Monthly Horoscope – Aquarius


[whispers] Aquarius! Aquarius, Aquarius! Fine, don’t look at me, Aquarius.
Look at a bin bag if you want to know more about life.
Oh, Aquarius, you’re such a strong, patient, spirited being,
but all of that is sucked away from you by the – biscuit –
capitalist lifestyle. Oh, Aquarius, what are we
going to do about your love life, Aquarius?
Well, we’re going to do nothing. You’re going to have to
take some action, Aquarius. Money-wise – biscuit –
[sings] get some money, get some money in your bank account.
You could get by singing that little song,
or by not spending it on clothes and discos.
Let’s talk about luck. Let’s talk about
what the planets are doing for you in terms of luck.
The fire of the sun, the coolness of the moon,
the horseradish of the dog, the coming together
to say that your lucky number is 2.3 million Googlewhacks – biscuit.
Your lucky animal is animal number one.
[laughs] You could go out with our Graham – biscuit.
Final words of wisdom for you, Aquarius. If you’re naming children this year,
keep it short and sweet. If you’re naming pets this year,
keep it long and complex – biscuit. If you’re saying goodbye
to a loved one, remember it gets easier over time.
I love you Aquarius – biscuit. Hold on to the hope
that Nissan Micras will one day improve.
Bye-bye …

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