Your Weekly Horoscope: October 16th | Momscopes | Scary Mommy

Your Weekly Horoscope: October 16th | Momscopes | Scary Mommy


– There is nothing more
satisfying than going into a week prepared. Unless, you’re the only
one around here doing all the preparing. Okay, you can put your own homework in your own bookbag, okay? (dreamy music) Aries, there may be
something unspoken lately that brings tension and
awkwardness between you and your partner. Like your kid, who keeps
crawling into your bed every night or your partner’s gas that he’s been very free with lately because he feels so comfortable with you. Isn’t that nice? Mm mm. Taurus. Mm. You may be trying to cling
to something that doesn’t want to sit still. It’s like trying to grab a wet fish. It’s your baby. When you try to put them in
one of those seats, mm mm. When you try to put them in
one of those seats, mm mm. When you try to change their diaper, nope. When you try to feed them. Wet fish. But a cute one. Gemini, today you will
be properly recognized for the person you are. Today you will be properly recognized at the grocery store
for the type of person who wipes your kid’s butt with a hand wipe in the bread aisle because
he kept saying his anus hole was itchy and you would do anything to make him stop saying anus hole. Cancer. With the new moon covering
the sun’s surface, it might be a good time for
you to write your fist novel. Or just a long rant about how uncomfortable jeans have become. I mean, what is it with jeans? How did possibly ever wear tight ones? Leo, a person in your life is
ignoring your text messages and emails today. It’s not personal Linus. Oh really? Because it’s that mom from
your kid’s school who expects you to respond right
away to all her messages about fundraisers and teacher donations, well how come your idea about
starting a school supply wine and cheese hour are not priority? Virgo. Be careful about planning things too much. Leave the morning open
for spontaneous acts and haphazard events. If you don’t know, you can’t
plan anything out when it comes to getting your kids ready in the morning. I’m not sure how to help you. I mean come on, where you been? (scoffs) Geez. Libra. Use your powerful spirit to
overcome any fears you have. Because you’re gonna need it. If you thought you’d be that
mom who didn’t have to deal with lice, well, I’m sorry to say, you’re gonna be picking a little louse out with your bare fingers. Just remember, no fear. Scorpio. With Mercury coming out of Venus, expect invitations and dates
to come out of the blue. Invitations to parent-teacher conferences or dates for you to come
talk about how your kid is still farting in the middle of class and laughing about it. (laughs painfully) How exciting. Sagittarius. A delivery you have been eagerly
awaiting has been delayed. Trust your instincts Sagi, it will come. Or it won’t, because it got lost. Order it again. Don’t delay on that, you need
that shampoo you ordered. Trust me. You need to wash that hair. Capricorn. Things may be unstable
for you this morning, but if you can, you should
probably just sleep in. Honestly Capricorn, if you can, you should just sleep in every morning, I mean, if that’s an
actual option for you, do it. Aquarius. Make sure you have an equal
amount of give and take in your life. (laughs hysterically) Yeah, right. You’re a mom. It’s all give for you. Give, give, give, give,
give, give, give. (laughs) I don’t have anything else. (sighs) Pisces. Hmm. Direct more of your
energy outward so you may begin to manifest the ideas
that you store up inside. Energy, barely. Ideas, I’ve got one. Take a nap. That might give you a little
energy and then you can manifest a way to sleep through the night for once, like that new mom, who was also bragging
about her two day old baby who sleeps through the night. Ha ha. Maybe she can sleep train you. Speaking of sleep, I’m going
to the closet to get a nap. It’s the only place I can
get some rest around here. So yeah, that was
Momscopes with Nefertiti. (dreamy music)

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